Bad Day?

We all have bad days. They occur when we are out of synch with the universe, and feel separate from everything and everyone else. There are ways to mitigate bad days through thought, or if we don't see a way out of it, we can take comfort knowing that without them we would not know the good days, and thus appreciate them even more.

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IF YOU ARE HAVING A "BAD DAY", remember that nothing that ever happens is either good or bad. Everything happens for a reason--there is something to learn, there is payback, there is universal equilibrium, something has already been learned, no matter what, things happen for a reason, and are neither good or bad, but neutral. A bad day can only exist in your mind.

You attach whatever meaning you want to these things that happen. Most of you assign meaning to things based on the shallow opinion of how society as a whole might look at the situation. Society lives in a world of thought and form because that is what society can see, what it thinks is "real". Because society can't see the spiritual connection to all things, it assigns good or bad to a situation based on the fallacy that form is forever. One day the people involved will be gone or the situation will no longer exist or the world will be swallowed up by the sun. All things are temporary, while consciousness or spirit is forever.

The shallower or more human you are, the more you will worry about these situations as though they will last forever. The more spiritual you are, the less you will be affected by worldly situations because you know that all "things" are temporary and that you the spiritual entity will remain long after your body or the situation is gone.

You woke up and had a bad day. It could have been a good day. At least there was the possibility that this bad day you are having could have been a good day. It could have been but it wasn't. But it was a day for you to have and experience as you wanted to. If you choose to allow it to be negative, then do that, but know this: There will be a time when you wake up to your very last day. If you knew when your last day was going to be, you most likely would arrange your mind so as to make it a good day because who wants to end their life on a bad day? Here's the problem--Every day you wake up, you can't possibly know if it is your last one or not. Make every day a good day, just in case. Live like you mean it. Make every day count. You will never regret it. For you, it should not be possible to have a bad day.

It is not easy to be spiritual in the face of adversity or a bad day. Here are some things you can do to get out of your "bad day" state of mind.

1. View all things that do not go your way separately, not as a package that builds larger and more powerful and more negatively influential because they just happen to occur in the space of one or a few days.

2. Find the reason for the neutral things that happen to you that you label negative. What was the lesson?, who needed to learn? When you search for a spiritual answer for your "negatives" you move from ego to a more powerful consciousness. Bad days turn to good days.

3. Exercise. Take a walk, go to the gym, do what you do when you work out. The quickest, most powerful "happy pill" is a good work out--you WILL feel better, and this will no longer be a bad day. Do you think animals have bad days? No, they just consider what is and act accordingly, not allowing things to add up into a bad day.

Here are some free suggestions for avoiding bad days from the Tough Tuv Guide to Happiness book, available on Lulu.com:

13. DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE

There will be opportunities for you humans to do favors for each other by exerting very little effort. Be on the lookout for these situations and don’t hesitate to help someone if you can. Several years back, Captain-Man was fishing on his boat, when another boat that had run out of gas flagged him down. So Samaritan-Man called the Coast Guard and also called a towing service, then remained in the area, waiting for the tow-boat to arrive, as the other boat had no phone or radio. After more than an hour, and convinced the tow-boat had screwed up the GPS position, Rescue-Man threw the stranded boat a line and towed the boat until he was able to get the rescue-boat turned in the right direction, and finally in sight.

The purpose of this story is not to showcase how great a guy Writer-Man is, but that day his afternoon of fishing was pretty much ruined by screwing around with these people who lacked the common sense to determine how much gas they had when they left the dock and to carry a working radio or cell phone. At first he was perturbed that he should take time out to ensure the safety of the people aboard the stranded boat and then to have to tow them for an hour, but after the tow-boat showed up and he was back to fishing, he felt a satisfaction that would not have emerged without having helped the distressed boaters. What started out as a royal pain turned into that which made the day because Mother-Theresa-Man may well have saved the people’s lives, or at the very least, a long, lonely night on the Gulf Stream. It wasn't abad day afterall.

You certainly don’t have to save a life to get the unique satisfaction one gets from helping someone. Hold the door for someone or let another car merge in front of you or just smile. It doesn’t have to be big. You may not recognize it, but when you give to others without expecting anything in return, a wave of Happiness will course through you that cannot be gotten any other way. It doesn’t have to be a stranger either. Help your spouse in ways that you normally don’t. Call your favorite aunt just to talk. There are so many easy things you can do to spread happiness that to not do them is only denying yourself the personal HAPPINESS you could reap from them. So do something for someone and expect nothing in return. It’s a good thing. Martha rules.

P.S. There is no such thing as a bad day.

14. LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE IT’S YOUR LAST

If you have never lived as though today might be your last day, try it. Yes, we are only talking about a way of thinking, but I hate to break the news to you that you have no guarantee that you will wake up tomorrow. What if a Martian driving by in his ship leans down to grab his cup of Starbuck’s and crashes into your house, cooking you to a crispy critter? Laptop-Man is trying to make light of the idea there are no guarantees on how long you’ll be around, but let’s face it—there are no guarantees. The guy who wrote me once thought he might have one of those life limiting diseases. While he waited a month to find out, his mind considered all possibilities, and decided that no matter what, from then on, he would find the joy in everything; from the sound of the wind in the trees to the sparkle of the sun on the waves. From the joy of an unsolicited hug from his son to a passing peck from his wife. Why couldn’t he have thought that way before his little scare? And why don’t all of you think that way with or without a scare? I know, because you think you will live forever, right? Anyway, here’s the rest of the story.

So with one foot in the mental grave, my creator vowed that nothing would rattle him or make him mad, because as far as he was concerned, he was quite possibly a goner. So for that month he was happy a good part of the time, in between hourly waves of panic, but he had actually found more things to be happier about. For example, his son got a snap together model of a T-Rex skeleton with a kid’s meal. So Old Doomsday decided to put it together, and accidentally put the legs in the arm sockets and the arms in the leg sockets. I don’t know if it was stress or what, but that little screw-up provided him with a good ten minutes of hysterical, gut wrenching, eye-watering, fall-on-the-floor laughter as he pondered the visual before him. I wasn’t around back then but I’m sure I would have been proud. Either that or I’d have hurled myself at the back of his head. Would he have laughed that hard or even at all before? He had found the joy in everything that he could, but later, after the pure joy and HAPPINESS of a clean bill of health faded, he found himself once again getting caught up in the din of life, cussing at other drivers and moping when little things didn’t go as planned.

And now, years later, he found that his life had faded to a 0 to 1 on the HAPPINESS scale. he was having bad days again. Perhaps his subconscious saw this and made him write me as much for him as for you, dear, duck-breathed reader. That doesn’t matter though, what matters is that he recognized he had the power to make himself happy, and that the power must be exercised like a muscle in order to keep it strong. Don't belive in the sucker-hole called a bad day and they won't happen.

Models on T.V. with ripped bodies don’t get to that point and then quit working out because they finally made it. They have to keep on working out or they will lose it much quicker than they achieved it. HAPPINESS is not something that happens to you, it’s an attitude that must be constantly monitored and exercised lest you wake up one day and it’s gone. I’m not saying that there aren’t people who are naturally very happy, because I’m sure there are. But I’m willing to bet these lucky ones are the exception, and the rest of you are the rule. To realize that your time is limited just might cause you to do things for yourself and others that you might not otherwise do. What would you do right now if someone told you that you had the rest of this day and after that, nothing. Would you still let this be a bad day?

You can’t count on actuarial tables or assumptions to figure out how much time you have left. Last week a teenager was killed by a drunk driver who drove her pickup right into his bedroom as he slept at 3 A.M. The only thing you can count on, the only thing you really ever own is this second. Everything else is gravy, so treat it like gravy. Achtung! You is forbidden to haf a bad day!

15. LIGHTEN UP!

Hey, like the chapter line says, lighten up. Don’t be so serious, duck-breath. Sorry, I had to. When the joke’s on you, don’t get mad or even, laugh, even if you feel you’ve been dissed. Laughing is the opposite of stress. Every second you spend in laughter will help you to live longer, plus, laughter might just be the epitome of HAPPINESS itself. Every time you get one of those gut-wrenching, fall-on-the-floor, laugh-so-hard-you-cry moments, this might just be as good as it gets. Make it last as long as possible, and think of the reason often. Take every opportunity to laugh, even if you don’t find the joke particularly funny.

If you take yourself too seriously, it is easier to feel as though you’ve been disrespected, and resort to anger and irrational outbursts, and have a bad day. Things bother you more than they should. People will want to avoid you because of all that seriousness. To take yourself seriously is to expect too much from life, from other people. It is a vice of the ego. Extremely important jobs can be done with unspoken seriousness and a light-hearted demeanor. One question you can ask yourself in order to bring seriousness or worry into perspective: Will this still be a big deal next week, six months from now, ten years from now? Being serious is a form of worry, so being serious about non-life-and-death situations may be putting undue stress on yourself. Yes, there are things that are better taken seriously, like the quality you put into the job you do, but this isn’t about that. This isn’t about you being serious about things you think require it. It is about being serious about you. And that is a function of ego. Can you laugh at yourself along with others? Or does that make you feel hurt, and want to get revenge? Maybe your mental skin is too thin and you let things bother you more than they should. You are the most important person in the world to you, which means you are not the most important person to anyone else. They have their own problems to deal with. Where is all this going? The less serious you are about everything, the better. Writer-Boy is the picture of overkill when it comes to being somewhere on time. But he keeps that seriousness in the background and prevents stress by leaving early, knowing full well he’ll get there on time. Since he gives himself more than enough time to get there, time is not a factor and so the underlying seriousness of timeliness never surfaces. Writer-Boy was sitting on a plane talking to an older man in the seat next to him. The subject of seriousness and vanity came up and the man said, ”When I was twenty, I cared what people thought of me. When I was forty, I didn’t care what people thought of me. Now that I’m sixty, I know that people don’t think about me at all..” To bask in self-importance among others is to not know how the world works. Try humility. It is a true sign that you have expanded beyond the self.

16. TREAT YOURSELF

Do something for you once in a while. Get a massage or pedicure or an ice cream, or—you guessed it, a twinkie. Do whatever would really trip your trigger, that you won’t normally spring for. Go get a nice meal or see a movie or buy a book or go fishing in Alaska. Whatever it is, as long it is within your means and within reason just do it. You will never regret doing something like this for yourself. Can’t think of anything? Treat someone else. Take your wife or husband on a trip, or send your brother on his dream vacation. When you do something a little out of the ordinary for yourself, you make a bad day good.

If you are wealthy and can part with some of your money without causing yourself hardship, don’t just let it pile up, spread it around. Let’s say you’ve always wanted a Rolls Royce but didn’t want to dent your estate. Think about how your heirs are going to blow that money like it was nothing, and buy yourself the car! Where was I? Oh yeah, treat yourself because there is no one on the planet that cares more about you and your HAPPINESS than you. So worrying about not spending your child’s inheritance is a bunch of hooey! They’ll be alright without it, and if there are siblings or step-situations from other marriages, it will only be the cause of division, greed, and disharmony among them. So spend that dough and have a ball before you’re too old to do it, or worse, that Martian accidentally drives his spaceship through your noodle.

This concept applies to all of you, not just rich guys. You know what makes you happy, and once in a while you’ve got to do something for you. It doesn’t make you a great mother to buy your kids all the newest toys and not drop a dime on yourself. You are worth it, so drop some dough on you. By the way, treating yourself does not always have to involve spending money. Take a hot bath, or head to the coast to watch a sunrise. Hide for an afternoon and read that novel that’s been sitting around since Christmas. Do something for you, you’ll be glad you did. I’ll be back.

17. APPRECIATE WHAT YOU’VE GOT

Why not? It’s you who have created the ownership of your current life situation, including your house, car, spouse, kids, toys, money, or even the lack of any of those. How can you appreciate that run-down little house of yours that you are absolutely sick of living in? Don’t look at what it is, look at what it very well might be after a tornado, an earthquake, a fire, a hurricane, or a Martian crashing his spaceship through it. Your creaky little hovel is far better as is, in one piece, than a multi-million dollar mansion trashed by a mudslide. And people, rich and poor, lose houses they are sick of every day and wish to God they had them back just the way yours still is. Hard to say no problem after losing your house, but if you are still alive, you must appreciate that because of what might have happened to you while you were in your house as it was being trashed. Hate your job? Imagine your boss walking up to you tomorrow with a cop and a box full of your stuff out of your desk or locker and saying, “You don’t work here anymore, here is your final check, you need to leave.” Would you still hate your job and thank your boss for the best day of your life? Or would you feel kind of bad? If you hate your job that much, look for a new one while you are still working, then quit once you find one. But if you aren’t actively looking for a new job and aren’t thinking about quitting, maybe you should quit complaining and try to enjoy your work instead of perpetuating needless negativity.

Having a bad day? While you were reading this someone on the planet died unexpectedly--and hooray, it wasn't you!

Can’t stand your spouse? Imagine waking up tomorrow and looking out your window to see your him or her getting into a limo with some other him or her. Forever.

Ever think your life might be easier without your kid because he or she drives you nuts? Some of you humans obviously do, because every few months some whacked-out mother kills hers. If you ever feel this way, for whatever reason, imagine them gone, never to be seen again. It seems that kids cause the most stress when they are living at home, and maybe sometimes you look forward to an empty nest. Do ya ever? Well one day those candy-eatin’, Nick-watchin’, bike ridn’ little pukers are going to be house guests in your house and right about then you’ll be wishing that they were the same age they are now. Project yourself into the future and imagine yourself almost begging your sons or daughters to come home for a visit which might happen once or twice a year if you’re lucky. Why is it that you humans don’t appreciate (like the song says) what you’ve got till it’s gone? Well, from now on, when you start getting sick of what you’ve got, remember to appreciate it BEFORE it’s gone.

Here’s a new one. Learn to appreciate the things you lack. “What? Are you nuts? “How can I appreciate the lack of any of those”, you say. Well you can. If you have more money you have more to lose. No house? No roof damage or blown out screens or taxes or insurance to worry about. No, you won’t get an investment out of renting, but when the central air goes out, you call the landlord and forget about it as opposed to dropping $8000 on a new unit. Let’s face it—like the other song says, freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose. Don’t complain about the lack that you have created for yourself, take joy that you are free of being a slave to a house, a car, a bank account, whatever it is that you think you want but don’t have. Yes, you can appreciate the simplicity that not having things allows. Let’s say, just for fun that you win a Ferrari in a contest. At that point you are a “kept person.” Yes you are kept by the desire to keep that car looking brand spanking new. If someone bashes their door into your old Chevy, no problem. If they do the same to that new Ferrari, your world comes crashing down. It’s just a car. If your world revolves around a toy, you might be better off without it anyway.

And when you hit it big and finally have all the stuff you thought you wanted, enjoy them, but remember, life and HAPPINESS are not about toys, or money, or stuff…it’s the people. Once you get the toys, you will tend not to appreciate them long. Appreciate what you’ve got—first the people, then your money and your stuff, as Suzy Orman says . And don’t forget to appreciate the simplicity provided by what you don’t have. You’ll be much happier.

One more thing—This chapter is not about dropping goals or killing dreams or ambition. It’s about how you think as you chase that next dream. It’s not about giving up or declaring “good enough” when you have dreams yet to realize. It’s just about looking around when you wake up and knowing that what you see is a reflection of the reality you have created for yourself. Yes, you humans always want more, bigger, better, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Remember that perseverance is the mother of all success, but as you persevere, enjoy your surroundings, your stuff, especially the people. Human life hangs by a proverbial thread every second of its existence, and can be snuffed at any time. Enjoy the people around you and tell them often how you feel about them, lest one day you go looking for a psychic to do it for you.

So when you declare you are having a bad day, take it apart. What exactly is making this entire day bad? Dissect each and every negative that is driving your current unhappiness. Would any of these things ruin a good day? Or would you simply decide on a course of action and dismiss them because this day is good? As you analyze your bad day, ask yourself why these things are driving your attitude. Ask why, then why again, then again as though you are an angel or an alien that doesn't understand the concept of a bad day.

Once you have analyzed your bad day, you may realize that the things causing it are not really worth making this day bad. Maybe not. Either way, you may find that there is a strange pleasure in being a victim today. They are out to get you. Things are falling apart. Everything is going wrong. If you can't shake these feelings, turn the whole thing around by admitting that maybe you somehow want to have a bad day. It is perfectly human and natural for personal peace and well-being to rise and fall, and without these bad days, the good days may go unnoticed. So the bad day is what allows the good day. Now feel this bad day without emotion. Feel the tension in your stomach or whatever and know that these feelings are natural. Feel the unease and know that just like happiness, it cannot last forever, that it will soon subside.

You can just allow the bad day to be or attempt to change it using previously mentioned techniques. When you are having this bad day that you have decided upon, stay away from others if possible, because you will unconsciously project your negativity on them. Once you have declared that today is bad, your experience and attitude will fulfill your desire and accentuate the bad. It is yours to choose a good or bad day. Choose wisely.

Bad day to Letting Go