HAPPINESS BLOG

Just because I am the web master of this site doesn't mean I live in constant bliss. The happiness blog is a journal of things affecting my happiness and how I get around them. The happiness blog updated every few weeks or whenever I get the chance.

By the way, this site is growing as I grow spiritually. There may be things that I wrote three years ago that don't exactly jive with what I might write today. Rather than "fix" my earlier writings to align with my new stuff, I will keep the contrast intact as a record of my personal growth. Also, my new philosophies have built upon my old opinions, and as such are an integral part of them. When you notice inconsistencies across pages written at different times, use the contrast to further deepen your own views, using them to see what you may or may not agree with, and better know yourself.

I will never give up my search for the true nature of reality and every day I feel I am getting closer. The search began externally and has progressed inward, and now I know the location of these truths, though they cannot be described or reconciled through analysis. I might know the answer, but I am unable to prove to myself how I know, and so the search continues. Here's what I got so far: The truth is not separate from me or you. It is not something or some place other than where you are and what you are right now. Though I can't describe the truth of reality, I can describe what my thoughts will be when I finally know: "I can't believe it, it was here the whole time--I was here the whole time. How could I not have known?"

This is the original material for the happiness-quotes.com. To get the most from the site, read Tuff Luv...It's a great vacation/travel book and makes a great gift. Get it before your summer vacation and you will DEFINITELY have more fun! Get the hardcopy/download from our preferred site--Lulu.com

Happiness Blog 15 Aug 10

ON BEING NONJUDGEMENTAL

Why refuse judge things as good or bad? Judging something as bad gives rise to resistance manifest as many different forms of negativity such as frustration, anger, resentment, and uneasiness, to name a few.All of these are forms of self-induced suffering.

Judging things as good gives rise to the possibility of becoming attached to whatever it is. When you become attached to this "good" thing, you set yourself up for a negative reaction if or when the thing does not go as planned or when you lose it. All things are transient--you will eventually lose them. That is not a judgement, it is a neutral fact. 

But, by judging things as good rather than bad, if you must judge at all, you help to maintain a positive mindset. When you do judge something as good, mentally acknowledge the possibility of attachment and caution yourself anytime a positive judgement occurs. 

Today I noticed 5 brand new ellipticals at the gym. That is a good thing any way you slice it, but I realize that these machines will become worn with use and so I enjoy their newness only in this second. To expect the newness to last a year or a month or a week or even beyond today is a bald faced attachment. And with this judgement of good there is automatically created a seed for future negativity of some sort, and with it the resultant self-induced mental suffering. 

And so if you must judge, judge things only as good. If you judge something as good, enjoy the good only now, without any expectation that the good will last, no matter how solid or permanent it appears to be. 

And if you should fall into a negative judgement, remember that you have not only created present negativity, but future suffering as well. If the judgement persists, remember that all things, judged good or bad or not judged at all, will eventually be gone. 

By refusing to judge anything or anyone, including yourself, you have eliminated a huge percentage of the self induced mental suffering and drama that poisons humanity. 

ON RESISTANCE

When you resist what already is, you create negativity in the form of emotion. You are denying what you know to be already true. The gap between the truth and your desired situation is unconsciously kept alive without the possibility of reconciliation.  

The chasm is in play, or "something is wrong" as long as the ego clings to it's idea of how things should be, even as it sees that it is too late for the desired outcome to even be possible. 

By accepting that which cannot be changed, you close the gap, stop the mental suffering and eliminate the drama. 

AWARENESS 25 jun 2010

There are several dimensions of awareness. For our purposes, awareness and consciousness can be considered the same thing.

Dream Awareness

When you dream, you are aware of your dream world, the people, things, and movements of your body within the dream world, all of which were created by your brain. Your sensory perceptions are manufactured by your brain, except sometimes, actual sense perceptions such as sounds or light in the room you are sleeping in will become incorporated into your dream, either literally, or in some abstract way.

When you dream, your brain does not know the difference between waking state reality or dream reality, and for the most part, the dream is assumed to be real by your dream awareness while it is happening. For example, during a dream, you would most likely not do anything you wouldn’t do while in the waking state. Sure there are exceptions, but in any given dream, your dream awareness thinks the dream is real, and your actions can generate undesirable consequences which even your dream awareness would prefer to avoid.

Waking State Awareness

This is the “real world” that you wake up to every morning. What makes it “real” is its stability, and apparent permanence. Most things are the same as they were when you went to sleep. Things have an apparent solidity and of course if you play your cards wrong, you could wind up deceased. This waking state, then, is the state that most people assume to be real, and the only state they believe to exist as “real”.

Astral Awareness

This is a very rare state of awareness that almost everyone has experienced, yet most will not remember. It is not uncommon, that during an REM dream, your dream awareness suddenly becomes “awakened.” When you wake up inside this dream, your awareness shifts from your normal dream awareness, the one that thinks the dream is real, to your actual waking state awareness, who knows you are still dreaming! You are fully alert in your waking state, yet you are aware that you are still dreaming. This is called a lucid dream, and much has been written about them, including techniques for initiating them at will.

In a lucid dream, you can either be passive and know you are dreaming, letting the dream unfold as it will, or you can actually control it, which obviously makes for great fun.

Another dimension of astral awareness occurs during the OBE, or out of body experience. Though some question the validity of the OBE, it is a well documented phenomenon that is different from say, a dream. Some claim the OBE is an offshoot of the lucid dream, and this may well be true, but there are some large differences. For example, most OBE’s are initiated with an almost electric, full-body vibration that ceases once your astral awareness is seemingly separated from the “actual” body. Your surroundings are very close to what you might see in the waking state, which means you know where your body is physically, as opposed to even a lucid dream. You may or may not be able to fly or move through walls, but the feeling that your awareness is no longer inside the physical body is striking. When you “awaken” from an OBE to waking state awareness, eyes open, you remember exactly what happened during the OBE, as though you have just had a waking state experience.

Enlightened Awareness

Enlightened awareness is a state experienced by only a few lucky individuals. It is a joyful state, accompanied by a feeling of oneness with the universe. It is a purely spiritual state that finds automatic joy in the very realization of existence. It is not a form of happiness, but an indescribable knowing of being. It is not an awareness that you exist as a human, but that you (your spiritual being) exist beyond your human-ness, existed before you manifested as human, and will exist after your human is gone. In this awareness, you feel a connection to all there is, even an interminable connection to the God-source. For most people, they will not feel this awareness until just prior to death. For those that do experience this awareness in their lifetimes, it comes in flashes as a result of meditation or inner questioning of the nature of external and personal reality.

Eastern mystics claim to exist in a constant state of enlightenment, but as long as anyone is human, it is hard to believe they can do this, as living is a compromise between physical and spiritual being. The more physical you take yourself to be, the more separate you think you are from others, and the more you will dwell in the workaday world of survival. Living purely in the physical breeds a shallow, hand to mouth existence that reacts, mostly in the negative, to external circumstances. You assume yourself to be what happens to you and around you, and if you judge what happens as bad, your experience is bad.

Enlightened awareness knows that it is not the content, or what happens to it in life, but is the observer of what happens. By being the observer of what happens, the awareness can be connected to all things, yet the physical entity can remain separate from physical content, and not be negatively affected by “what happens”. The more spiritual you are, the less serious you take the “real world” to be, and the happier you will be, because you know that the universe as described by your senses and limited by the world of language, is not all there is.

Where does all this lead? Eventually, you will awaken from this dream of being human to the reality of being. If you can do this while alive in the physical, even if only for a few seconds at a time, you can have all the best of both worlds. How do you do this? By becoming unconditional love. This means you recognize your connection to all things in the universe, that you are separate from no one and no thing. It does not mean you have an emotional attachment to things or people, which is what most people consider love to be.

If you hate or kill, you are hating and killing something that is not separate from your true essence. Neither are you separate from the God-source. Unconditional love includes appreciation, amazement, and wonder for the physical as well as the spiritual, and that you have the opportunity to experience both.

Allow everything. Allow mentally, the physical shifting of form and energy to take whatever new form it wants. From this physical state of allowing, you can decide to try to change things or not, from a place of acceptance instead of resistance. When you begin with acceptance and allowing, your actions tap into the universal intelligence, and are more likely to be successful.

Judge nothing. By refusing to judge things that occur in the physical as good or bad, you are denying the possibility of negative emotion being the motivation for your actions. Let the motivation for all your actions be to benefit all things and beings. When your actions are seeded in service to the totality and everything in it, you too benefit as you are part of the totality. As a result, your physical existence, your life, your waking state awareness will experience more happiness, joy, and peace of mind than you ever thought possible.

Intuition

This awareness goes beyond that which can be sensed through the five bodily senses. Intuition is knowing something not because you have received some kind of brain signal, but because of your inherent, non-local connection to all things. Non-locality is a proven characteristic of sub-atomic particles which states that particles created from the same source are connected, and instantaneously know what the other is doing without having to receive a signal. According to Big Bang theory, all present matter in our known universe originated in an object called a singularity, smaller than an atom. If this is the case, then all matter in the universe came from the same source, at least indirectly. This might account for intuition, and even Einstein could not explain non-locality, sometimes referred to as quantum entanglement. He called it "spooky action at a distance."

Happiness blog, 30 may 2010

The sky is falling in Europe, the Gulf, and the stock market. How can you “handle” these things as well as others that pop up? First is by knowing that things will never stop popping up. The second is by living the intent of the six words in enlightenment 101.

These are the six words:

Love Unconditionally

Allow Everything

Judge Nothing

1. To love is to recognize and acknowledge that you have some kind of connection to all things and beings. Most humans choose to acknowledge only familial and proximity connections, such as relatives, neighbors, co-workers, their car, pets, house or toys, whatever. To love unconditionally means you recognize your connection to all things and beings, and love them as yourself. This is not possible if you let your ego do the living because the ego assumes separation from all things. If you let your spirit or soul do the driving, you will know there is a connection and others will see it in you, even if they are ego oriented.

2. Allow everything to be. As the present moment unfolds, it will take many unforeseeable forms. Some are desirable and some are not. Most humans, who live in separation (ego), dwell on the undesirable forms that come up and resist them through fear, denial, and the belief that “this should not be happening”. This denial of what already is, causes mental pain and suffering. This mental pain and suffering permeates the body and poisons it as well as others who come in contact. Allow the situation to be. Attempt to change it if you want from there, not from a place of resistance.

The oil has spilled and may continue to spill for a long time. Unless you personally can do something to stop it, simply allow it to be. If it affects you in a negative way, you must face that challenge too from a place of allowing. By allowing, you align with the universe to perform right action based on logic, not raw emotion. Your greatest chance of success comes from right action taken from a base of acceptance and allowing. Apply this and axiom number one to all things.

3. Judge nothing. Do not attempt to label things as good or bad. Though if you must label, do it on the positive side. I am guilty of labeling a lot of things as good, even if I don’t have enough information to truly know. What most of us do is to label things as bad if they were unforeseen or undesirable. Labeling things as bad is yet another form of the mental poison we call resistance. The oil has spilled. Allow it to be. Do something if you want. Do not judge it as bad or look for blame, or judge it as good because it may stop further drilling. It simply is. See Enlightenment 101.

Happiness Blog, 14 April 2010

WWJD? Here's what Jesus would do. He would do what the Source Energy or God would do.

Einstein sought to know the mind of God through science and mathematics. This might be closer than he ever got...

If you can BE these six words, you will do what Jesus, Buddha, and Lao Tzu did as enlightened humans...

It is so simple that you will think there must be more...Here it is:

Love Unconditionally

Allow Everything

Judge Nothing

It's ok if you don't see it yet. All I will tell you about these six words is to memorize them and be them every second of every day. Put absolutely no limit on their interpretation. Don't try to explain or understand them. Just be them.

Happiness Blog, March 26th, 2010

Could an eagle fly for the joy of flight? A man can and does

Could the cheetah run for the joy of speed?

A man can and does

Could a marlin swim for the joy of swimming?

A man can and does

Could a monkey climb for the thrill of height?

A man can and does

Of all the things a man can do, why is it that only the rarest of men can live for the joy of living?

Happiness Blog, Feb 25, 2010

I fantasized that there is really nothing wrong with the vehicle that minor repairs won't fix, that I'm being taken. Yet there is no way to know for sure, as the shop I use is the only one in 60 miles. And so I allowed myself to implode into a black hole of negativity. This negative state felt as though with each passing second, that it was getting stronger, fueled by the never ending circle of thought which fed it and strengthened its power over me.

I'm supposed to be smarter than to let that type of thing bug me, but I was mired in this gravitational vortex with seemingly no way out. So I looked at the options: Don't fix the vehicle and stop using it, or shut up and get it fixed knowing that all forms eventually wither and disintegrate. Dust to dust appliess to everything, not just humans. Eventually our planet will undergo catastrphic change, even without our help.

And so I examined the feelings that contaminated an entire day and reached back to some of the things from The Tuff Luv Guide to Happiness. It was clear that I was resisting that which already was, and the only way to get rid of the feeling was to accept the situation as part of life, rather than resist what could not be changed.

As I let go of the desire for perfection in this imperfect machine, the negativity storm began to weaken. Instead of seemingly sucking negativity into myself from wherever I could find it, it seemed to recede like a tidal flow, and my presence, I could feel, stopped its negative suction and began to radiate positive feelings outward. I went to the gym for a heavy workout, which I consider the best happy pill there is, and I felt even better.

I started looking at the difference between feeling good and feeling bad and realized that when you feel bad, the feelings are always moving inward to the center of the self, growing stronger as the problem is hashed and rehashed. It felt like I was all there was, completely seperate from the rest of the cosmos.

But when I started noticing the shift from negative to positive, having finally accepted that which I could not change, I started to feel like a part of an outward biggness, that I was now radiating these good feelings and that my very presence was growing as I once again became part of all that there is. As my being shifted from ego driven to spirit driven, I wondered how I let myself get negative and realized that as a human with a spiritual essence, it is up to me to choose the energy that I experience at any given time.

I had stopped observing my situation and became it. I reacted negativly to the situation, and rather than being the watcher of the experience, I allowed myself to become the negative reaction to the situation. I had allowed myself to feel as though a part of me was being taken away, rather than feeling good about getting the repairs done. If I didn't have the money I could stop use the item until I had enough to fix it, or sell it as is. I allowed my reaction to cloud the fact that I can pay for the repairs.

Bottom line, the ego thinks it's getting screwed and the spirit is glad to have caught the problem early. What will be the eventual outcome? I'll pay the money, pick up the vehicle and live happily ever after. I was going to do that all along, yet I put myself through needless hell by resisting that which could not be changed.

The takeaway here is to try to stay in a non-reactive state as you move through life. I personally have been realigned toward a positive outlook by the whole thing. It was supposed to happen. Had the situation not come up, I would know less than I do now. Check out the secret of life.

Happiness Blog, Jan 7, 2010

Quantum manifestation is the conscious use of the basic principles of quantum physics to create your desired reality.

The basic truth behind quantum physics, or the crazy mechanics of the incredibly small, is different from your everyday laws of physics.

Traditional, or Newtonian physics was created in order to predict reactions of physical objects with respect to time, space, and gravity--with respect to what we perceive through the senses to be reality. When you hold a ball in your hand and let it go, it will fall every time. Based on the ball's mass,and speed and through projection of time, we can figure out where the ball will be in the future, its future direction,and future position, just as astronomers can predict the position of a star or planet thousands of years into the future.

In quantum physics, if you consider the ball to be a particle of light, that particle and its location cannot be known if we know its velocity. Likewise, if we know its velocity, we cannot know its position in space. Einstein could not grasp this reality, as it flies in the face of Newtonian physics, to which he prescribed. How could God have created something as random as the unknown position of a particle of light? If it were of a certain design, the velocity and position of a particle should be predictable, he thought.

I won't go into the science that proves it, but a quantum (tiny parcel of energy), be it a photon light or an electron, does not act like the previously mentioned ball. This is where it gets weird and fascinating: A quantum of energy only exists as a wave of probable locations and positions in space. It is everywhere and it is no where at the same time. Light is not a particle of light, nor is an electron a particle, until something happens to it. What has to happen to "collapse the wave function or property" of a quantum to turn it into a particle? Sit down for this:

The energy parcel must only be OBSERVED by a consciousness-derived apparatus. When the energy is OBSERVED, its "wave function" collapses, turning it into an observable particle, but only for the instant it is observed. Humans cannot see these particles, they can only be detected through machines.

Knowing that our reality is made up of photons, electrons and atoms, or quantum particles, we can use the collapse of the wave function of these to create our own reality. How? by observing in the mind, that which you want to manifest, through visualization and acknowledgement, and even denial. Let's face it--if you don't notice something, in your world, it isn't there.

By refusing to notice or acknowledge the existence of an undesired situation, event, or other negative, you cease to allow that negative to affect you in any way, even though the rest of the world thinks it is real. When these situations no longer matter to you, what have they become? They have become nothing. However if you focus and dwell on these things, they will seem very real to you, because as you observe or acknowledge them, you collapse their wave function, turning them into is's.

Likewise with things you want, they initially exist only as a wave of probability. By constantly striving or hoping for something that your subconscious considers impossible, you are collapsing the wave function of that goal being impossible for you to achieve. As long as you collapse that negative wave function, it will be your reality.

GOOD NEWS! If you focus on the achieving of the goal and believe subconciously that it is possible, even if it hasn't happened yet, you collapse the wave function of that probability, and through the proven science of quantum physics, you will create the reality you desire.

Happiness Blog, Oct 8, 2009

SEEya!

Happiness blog, August 1, 2009

Hey kids, I found myself ragging on a woman driver who was talking on the phone and doing dumb things with her car. If you are going to talk and drive, use a hands free device. There is a huge difference between hands free and holding that high powered, RF emitting transmitter an inch from your brain, not to mention the electromagnetic energy blasting every brain cell you own.

Hold your cell phone up to a radio or TV when talking and you'll know what I mean.

Anyway, I was mad at this woman because she allowed herself to be distracted, then I realized I get distracted too--just not at the same time. When people do things you don't like, think of a time when you may have done something similar to someone else, and the negativity in your head will lessen.

If I'm the happy dude, why did I let this woman bug me? I'm not any happier than anyone else at any given time--but I have studied happiness and analyzed it more than most. I should know better. But sometimes I don't follow my own rules. This only proves that happiness, when it all comes down to it, is a choice requiring mental action. This also means that mental inaction and laziness leads to frustration and negativity.

Keep in mind at all times that life is good, there is much to be thankful for, and that no matter what happens, you will be OK. Remember that nothing really matters, because one day all your worries of today will be fuzzy memories. If you can rise above your humanness and know that nothing matters, you can approach your challenges logically, taking the most apprpriate action possible from a mindset of "here's the situation, here's how I choose to deal with it", knowing that the outcome, whatever it will be, was supposed to happen that way.

When "bad" things happen, someone learns, someone takes a different, more positive direction, someone gets a more clear understanding of what joy is, there is an equal and opposite "good" that comes out of each "bad". When you dwell on the bad, you most likely overlook the good that comes out of it. Find that good, and the bad will quickly fade. The problem is that we humans tend to replay the bad over and over because it might be fun for

the ego to wallow in self-pity for a certain amount of time. The ego, which craves self-importance, then plays the victim long after the incident. To recognize that the ego is in the driver seat in these situations is to get over them quicker. Easy for me to say--of course, but now that I know, maybe I can practice this stuff when the time comes, rather than be negative.

Can you get over things though still believe you were wronged? Yes. This is when you learn, when you force yourself to rise above the ego that wants to be a victim or the important one-- When you conciously decide not to think about the situation anymore because you cannot change it no matter how long you dwell on it.

I'm not telling you how to be here, I'm telling myself, and hopefully it might lessen negativity that might be bothering you--and me.

SEEya

HAPPINESS BLOG, JUNE 26, 2009

He now knows the answers to our unanswerable questions, as we all one day will. His passing has provided yet another service--his memory has given us a moment of refuge in the media driven negativity that pervades the current atmosphere. See Letting Go

Happiness Blog, 1 Jun 09

Meaning of Life page was just updated last night with some really cool stuff. The first being that nothing ultimately matters. Nothing, that is of this world. In order to use that on a daily basis, know that nothing that happens really matters. More importantly, here is my newest aha...that which does not happen doesn't matter either. So when you are expecting something and are investing time or energy or money expecting some reward, if it doesn't come,--it just doesn't matter in the big picture.

On the surface, you may not want to agree. But if you take "nothing that happens matters" and "that which doesn't happen doesn't matter", this covers EVERYTHING! And so we now have a guide to tell us what to think in the face of everything that comes or doesn't come.

One definition of enlightenment is the end of suffering. If you know that neither "what happens" nor "what doesn't happen" matters, you will be very close to ending your earthly suffering. But you must constantly remind yourself of this for it to be affective. this is your out, your golden parachute for life. So simple, yet so complete.

I can't believe the luck of this realization, with its simple truth. It is as though I have won the happiness lotto. You cannot help but agree. If you do not however, don't fret because you are simply not ready. One day you will be forced to learn the truth of not worrying about what happens or doesn't. The sooner you understand it, the fuller your life will be. Happiness blog--out.

ciao

Happiness Blog, 21 Apr 09

So what? Sooo, as your realm of possibilities grows, so does your probability of achieving other more probable goals, such as losing weight if you need to. If you have a hard time losing, the more you think about having lost the weight, the more probable your weight loss becomes. The more you visualize your goal, your circle of possibility of weight loss gets smaller and your probability gets bigger. When you have visualized your goal enough, the possibility circle meets the probability circle, and you'll make it so.

I was such a "can't seem to lose the weight" case. No, it wasn't that I couldn't, it was that I wasn't willing to do all the things required to lose the weight, which is the only thing that keeps anybody from losing weight. I decided one day to go for it, I visualized myself doing all the things and not eating all the things required, and I'm down 32 pounds.

let yourself think of the absolute best thing that could ever happen for you. Imagine it happening in great detail. Imagine how you feel. See it all in your mind and it is now possible. See it often and the probability becomes greater. I'll leave you with this...

Impossibilities only exist because they have not been thought of yet. Sooo...

Once something has been created through thought, it is no longer impossible.

One day man saw a bird fly. He thought he might like to do that. At the time it seemed impossible.

Yes, one day someone will put wings on a pig and it will fly.

SEEya!

Happiness Blog, 16Mar 2009

And so a few weeks back, after staying in the market and watching my 401 drop by almost 50%, I got scared. I thought that it would be better to salvage what is left and hide from the thought of losing it all. But I did not sell. Then the market spiked up. And all the "smart ones" who sold early missed out on those gains. And unless the get in all at once, they'll lose out on others.

The point is, when I finally gave in and considered selling, it dawned on me that in the past, that was always my best buy signal. And so I bought. Not a lot, but as the market remains low, or continues down, I'm going to keep buying, because when the attitude of the financial world swings from negative to positive, from fear of loss to fear of losing out, I'll be riding the top of the wave. And all the people who waited to buy until the market went up will drive my stuff up. When I look at my account and say wow--I need to borrow money to invest, that will be when I bail out because that's what happened just before the market tanked.

So anyway, it's all an attitude. When the group swings positive I'll be there.

I'm not telling you what to do. I'm telling you what I'm doing, which may not be right for you.

Happiness Blog, 15Mar 2009

By letting go of everything, just for a while, you will realize that without all the things you think you need, you will still exist, you will not disappear without them. Your ego wants you to think that you ARE your desires, your loved ones, your money, your stuff, your career. It wants you to think that without them, you are nothing. Would you be a lesser person without your car, house, bank account? No. Would you be a lesser person without your job? No. Without all the things you think you "have", you would be no less than who you are. Sure, others, driven by their own ego, might think less of you but that does not mean you are less. Let go of the opinions of others too, for to desire that another think highly of you is driven by your own ego.

Let go of everything--wants, needs, expectations, desires, and know that without all the things you are afraid of "losing", you would still be you and you would still be alright.

Happiness Blog--out.

Happiness Blog, 2Feb 2009

Hey kids, sorry I haven't blogged in a while, but I have a good excuse--I'm friggin lazy! However, much has happened since we last talked--I've lost 22 pounds and I'm still going. For an overview on how, check out The Lose Weight Now tab on the menu. It's free because it's just me telling you how I'm doing it--no diets, books, points, but I am counting calories and concentrating on healthy foods, eating four 400 calorie meals a day and working out--no beer, sorry.

I've been creating more new pages for the site--Love is..., Joy of Being, Meaning of life and others. I'd give you some links, but I'm too lazy for that too. Have fun,

SEEya

Happiness Blog, 11Dec 2008

I'm officially over the economy. I can't worry about it anymore. I--don't--care. If I lose everything and have to move into a dumpster, so be it. To those hurting financially, know that there is a lesson to be taken advantage of if you look for it. Sometimes forced changes at first seem bad, but eventually propel you in a new, exciting, better direction. If you consider yourself a victim, then that will be who you are. Yes it's "fun" to wallow in self-pity, we've all been there, but at one point, you crawl out of your funk and make something happen. Some of you may just need something other than constant friends who patronize you and commiserate with you.

At a particular point in my life I wanted to quit everything and go home, as the world was just too big and bad. It was comforting to know that mom and dad were always there for me, so I called home 3 times in 2 hours (no cell phones back then, or email). Though I never actually said the words, I wanted more than anything to have my dad say "come home". I would have been out the door in a second. As my whining came to a crescendo, my dad could no longer take it, and he uttered the exact words I needed to hear: "Go ahead, quit. But you ain't gonna lay around this goddam house"! I'm absolutely certain that it was one of the hardest things he ever had to say, and at the same time it was one of the greatest gifts I ever received.

What he gave me was no way out. Nothing to "fall back on". If I ever have to "fall back" on something, it will be a sad day, because to fall back on anything is to quit, to admit defeat. If you need to throw in the towel because you believe don't have the drive, talent, or physique to do something, then do something else. Don't fall back on anything except a nice soft bed.

If your latest job or livelihood is in jeopardy or gone, find your new direction, because it was meant to be this way for whatever reason. How do I know? Because that's the way it is. So if you are in a funk similar to the one I was in, here are some words that probably no one else will tell you. Wait. first, follow these steps:

Work out--just enough to clear your head. Don't give yourself a big one.

Take a shower

Put on some nice clothes

Find a bum and give him five bucks or a sandwich

Be nice to everyone

List all the positives in your life

Appreciate everything you have right now

Devise a plan to start over

Set a goal

Go out and make your own way on this planet.

If these steps don't help, then try this--Get off your butt and do something because you ain't gonna lay around this goddam house!

SEEya!

Happiness Blog, 26Nov 2008

Hey kids, how's your happiness? Many will be tempted during these times to let CNN and CNBC run thier happiness as they watch whatever nest egg they have dwindle to a half of what they "had". Remember, you don't lose on an investment until you sell. Eventually the markets will be back, even higher than ever before. No one knows when, but they will. If you sell based on saving whatever is left, you may not buy back in in time to hit the big days. This happened to me a long time ago. I got out in time but got back in too late. At this point I feel I've "lost" too much to sell. The market will either recover or we go into a Mad Max scenario, in which money will be worthless anyway. So don't panic, don't worry, and know that the economy is out of your hands.

Know that wealth is measured not only in dollars, but in love, time, nature, health things you own. Appreciate everything you have, a sunny day, a snickers bar, how about your computer with high speed internet? Hey, if this site doesn't help your happiness, order the Tuff Luv Guide to happiness on Lulu.com.

Happy Turkey Day, even if all you have is a hot dog, and call your parents if you are still lucky enough to have them around.

SEEya

Happiness Blog, Oct 1st, 2008

The current financial "crisis" will eventually blow over. There is absolutely nothing you or I can do about it except to keep living life and buying the things you normally buy. The U.S. standard of living is based on credit. You put your money in the bank to get a couple percent interest. The bank, in turn, lends your money to a home buyer or entrepeneur at a higher rate. The difference is the bank's profit.

Our system is based on the fact that not everyone needs their money in a lump sum all at once. You have, say $50,000 in an account, that you can get out whenever you want. Everybody thinks that, but it's not true. When EVERYONE wants all their money, all at once, there is collapse in the house of cards because there is not enough cash to give to everyone their money, and banks go down.

In essence, personal prosperity is not so much based on how much money you have as your actual feeling of security. If you feel that you can have your money at will, or that even if you lost it all, things would be ok, you leave the money invested. If you think some suit is blowing your life savings on a yacht, and that when the bank goes down you'll have lost everything, fear rules the day, and you run to the bank to close the account. Here's the problem--at some point, the bank will be out of cash, and the people that actually got their money and are hiding it under their bed may be just as bad off because there will be no place to spend it.

It is perceived wealth that keeps people happy and our economy moving. They feel they have real value in dollars. When fear, then panic sets in, the desire to not lose takes over and so people want their money now. When everyone wants their dollars back from the bank, those dollars become worthless, even if they do get them back.

In order to stay happy, know there is a problem, it's most likely not your fault,(unless you are one of the defaulters-then you are part of the problem), and that people other than you can fix it. You can do nothing to change the situation, so know that things will stabilize soon, and turn off the tv. I highly recommend The Tuff Luv Guide to Happiness, available on Lulu.com. or on the links throughout this site.

SEEya

Happiness Blog, Aug 14, 2008

To worry over something you either hope to happen in the future or are dreading is creating a reality for your self that does not exist. Same for things that happened in the past. The past and the future are thought, mere ideas that you create in your head. As such they do not exist, being only made of thought. What are your conitions NOW? Now is what exists, what is real. You cannot worry about the now, it already is. You act upon and accept the now because it is the only form of reality.

Stop worrying by asking yourself how you feel now. Not how you will feel later if so and so happens, or has already happened.

SEEya

Happiness Blog, July 23, 2008

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Happiness Blog July 9, 2008

Had kind of a crappy day a few days back, feeling as though I was making people feel bad by my very existence. I tried some affirmations, which usually help such as: "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better" and "Things continue to go my way." These helped somewhat, but nothing I could do could break the underlying sense of being out of synch with everybody else on the planet.

So I went about my day--stopped at the library to drop off some books on quotes, went to K-mart to get a birthday gift, and then Publix for some birthday cards and groceries. While walking out to my car, I passed a mother with a little girl, maybe 2 years old in a grocery cart seat. The mother was busy fastening the seat belt on the cart, and probably only was aware that someone was walking by. The baby studied the ground intensely as I walked by, then she looked up at me and smiled the most sincere, happy, innocent smile I've seen in years. Of course I smiled back as I passed. About 10 feet beyond, I turned to look back and the mother was just turning to look at me, evidently wondering who her baby was still smiling at.

I smiled at the mother and went on my way. Suddenly, the mental junk that was clouding my day was gone. This little kid had the power to change my whole attitude. It didn't even matter to me why she smiled, just the fact that it happened turned my whole day around. I hadn't really followed my own recommendations for climbing out of a funk, maybe because I was basking in self-pity, or I was just being lazy, I don't know, but the whole thing was over in the time it takes to smile.

Because of that kid, I've decided to smile more at people on the slim chance that it could turn someone else's day around, and repay the bank of positive gestures for the one I withdrew. Happiness blog man commands you to smile at someone!

Happiness Blog, July 1, Florida

So I stopped at a restaurant and had lunch. On the way to my car, a woman with lots of scars on her arms asked me for some change so she could eat. I gave her five bucks and she mumbled something and walked away. I kind of thought a look in the eye with a "thanks" would have been nice. Then I realized that I was totally wrong!

If you want to give somebody something, it's not giving unless you expect neither recognition or praise or anything else in return. If you give of yourself and expect anything at all in return, you are buying something, or at the very least putting yourself above the other person by expecting them to do or say or owe you something.

Who am I to judge or expect graciousness when I can't begin to know her pain? She could have been embarrassed for having to ask for help, but the hunger was stronger. Whatever brought her to this point is not the issue. Another human asked me personally for help. I had the means to do it and I did. From now on that's where it ends. No expectation of praise or thanks or anything else. From now on if I choose to help, it will be because it is the right thing to do. Or so says happiness blog man.

SEEya

Happiness Blog, 28 June, 2008

Well, the price of oil is even higher than last entry and the stock market is taking a nose dive as a result. Of course the media is force-feeding how terrible everything is onto the unsuspecting public, which may cause the whole economic "crunch"(great word, describes nothing, but sounds bad)to be worse than it would have been without the perpetuation through negativity. The market can't get this happiness blog down.

Yes I'm sure my nest egg account is down huge but I refuse to look at it, knowing my investments are sound and that they will be back eventually. Though the "losses" are probably huge, it just doesn't matter as I won't need the money for 15 or 20 years anyway. I've tried timing the market which made it worse. Now I just sit back and watch the lemmings all freak out and make themselves feel poorer by selling in the down market--there is no loss unless the item is sold.

Here's the bottom line: You are as rich as you feel. For most of my life my pay increased quite nicely until my company went bankrupt and I took a nearly 50% pay cut. I was devastated for a long time but am living no worse off than I was. In fact, Before, I thought I had a shot at being "rich", and I've accepted that I won't be now. I was in some kind of frenzy to accumulate wealth so I could retire and all that. Now I know that nothing is for sure. I had a very lucrative retirement package--I didn't have to save a dime, it was so good.

In the stroke of a pen it was gone. No more retirement, half the old pay--I was crushed. I had actually taken on my job and my salary as who I was, and when it was virtually destroyed, so was I. But the lessons learned paid off huge in happiness. I know now that I am just me--not my job, my stuff, my money. If I lost everything I owned tomorrow, I would survive, and still be happy.

It took this "terrible loss" to open my eyes to the fact that retirement may never come--I mean there is no guarantee I'll even be around that long, and that one must live for NOW, indeed that is all you ever really own. I'll never starve, no matter how horrible the economy gets. Since I've let go of this quest for more money, more stuff, more everything, I've gained a sense of peace--of being able to relax and enjoy moments, not use them to simply get elsewhere.

Don't buy in to this feeling bad because of the economy thing. If you lose your job or need to move or whatever, it was meant to be. There will be an offsetting positive for any "negative" you encounter in life. There will be lessons learned and positive changes for the better, even if initially, things seem as though they couldn't get worse. I'm here to tell you--they can ALWAYS get worse, if YOU ALLOW THEM TO. Keep your positive outlook, and no matter what happens, you can still be happy if you so choose. Check out the whole site for happiness tips! Happiness Blog--OUT If you like this happiness blog, email me at ballyhoo4@peoplepc.com.

SEEya

Happiness Blog, June 22, Greece

Was thinking about the price of gas and how people affected the worst could keep from letting it get them down. Happiness blog-boy can help.

First, stop watching the news, as it only perpetuates the anxiety caused by a higher cost of living. When a story comes on bemoaning the price of gas, food, etc.,most people will stop and listen. Cable networks use that to sell air time to advertisers at higher rates. Happiness blog man confirms this.

Unfortunately, most people are more interested in negativity than anything else, so stirring the pot of collective discontent plays people right into the medias hands--not to mention the power that repeated suggestions of economic doom have on the public psyche.

If prices simply went up with no fear-mongering, would people simply go with it or actually stop buying things? Surely much of the fear (which slows personal spending, which harms the economy)created by the media via suggestive "news" is itself causing much of the fear behind a poor economy. Happiness blog boy thinks he knows--he could just be full of crap!

But why would the media purposely perpetuate a bad economy? It all comes down to money and power. In an election year, making things seem as bad as possible helps to promote a change in political control. Likewise, making everything rosey helps re-election efforts.

How does all this relate to staying happy as prices go up? Again, stay away from the news--newspapers, internet news and especially TV.

You can either spend the money on gas or use other transportation. This is beyond your control, so lamenting over it is needless negativity that cannot help the situation, but can harm your immune system.

If the higher prices cause a need to change your lifestyle, then so be it. Get a different job or a cheaper apartment or do what you must, but stewing in a sea of negativity over an uncontrollable change is not the way. Make a plan to do what you have to do, and do it.

I'd bet that the majority of Americans are not changing lifestyles, nor do they have to. It's a feeling of losing what they had (less money spent when prices were lower)and the inherent resistance to any change at all--accentuated by the media, as well as the need to maintain the status quo that has people in an unhappy frenzy.

Stay positive--allow negativity no brain-time--recognize and appreciate the positives in your life. Read the happiness blog. Assuming you're not leaving the planet anytime soon, you will be here anyway. Spend the time happy because you have the choice. If you buy into the whole economic disaster-global-warming-sky-is-falling mentality, well that too is a choice. Choose wisely, Grasshopper. SEE positive actions as well as the other sections for tips on staying happy. Give them a look! be happy because you can be, and enjoy!

SEEya!

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